Life-Cycle of the Bullied Indian Male!


0-9 Years (Carefree Craziness)

-> Be Born…Happy Birthday! (Whatever be the name, be called Chottu/ Mottu/ Pappu/ Tappu or something more hideous by the supposedly nearest & dearest !)

-> Crawl, cry, walk, talk, run, grow

-> Bully parents/elder siblings

-> Get bullied by younger siblings

-> Study/Play/Explore/ 1st crush in school (Lovely Ms. Tina !)

10-19 years (Puberty Pangs and Pleasures)

-> 1st girlfriend @ 14-15

-> Join College, Exit school-time girlfriend

-> Get Ragged and Bullied by Seniors

-> Rag and Bully the Juniors

-> New Girlfriend in college… Shave/Joke/Act Stupid/ Be a Smart Alec/ Drink beer

20-29 years (The Young Explorers – Main Hoon Don!)

-> Bunk a few years and somehow manage to graduate (4/5 years for Engineers/Doctors, 3 for others)

-> Lie in numerous interviews and finally land up with a new job

-> Marry/Not Marry GF???

-> Study further, temporary postponement to above conundrum

-> Copy assignments, learn to faff…Finish Masters

-> Start earning again…in Dollars or Dirhams or the good old Indian rupee

-> If in India – Marry Girlfriend,

-> If abroad – dump GF in India, find new GF and Marry.

30-39 years (The Turning Point – Main Hoon Kaun?)

-> Get Ragged and Bullied by Wife

-> Make presentations…Become the new whizkid in office

-> Slog for a few years. Dream Big/ Have Ideals/ Buy a car/house

-> Get Ragged and Bullied by Boss

-> Rag and Bully sub-ordinates

-> Switch Jobs

-> Have children. Change diapers

-> Get Bullied by Child

40-59 years (The mid-life/wife crisis)

-> Switch Job again/ Stop Dreaming/ Make Money

-> Plan international trips/ vacations. Get bullied by travel agents

-> Marry off children

-> Retire. Acquire new assets, namely – Diabetes/ Blood Pressure/ Arthritis or all of these

Post 60 – The Bonus Years

-> Die. Lucky you !

-> After going through all of the above, re-birth anyone??!

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