The Secret Diary of KRK


Dear Diary,
Jay mata di! I am really castrated today…
  • Here potty is not happening since morning and that Aamir Khan fellow is making hit movies about shit and the butt cracks of random, unknown fools. I keep asking Taran Adarsh for the Delhi Belly collection reports, calling him sirjee also, but he doesn’t even retweet my tweets. I hope it doesn’t beat the record of the biggest hit of world cinema DeshDrohi…I hear some Hollywood boys are planning to copy my script, but I will crush their balls with my bare hands, if they don’t dare to dream beyond Bollywood.
  • Saw Murder2 yesterday, fell in love all over again – so much oomph, sexiness and adaa, want to lip locks with Emraan. Will make Deshdrohi part 2 with him, John and myself. I shall pay 10 cr to John Abraham and he has to pay me 15 cr fine if the film will not be blockbuster. It will be a cunt film like Dil Chahta hai – but with 3 guys fighting for bharat mata’s independence from rascals like Golum Nabi Azaad who think man loving man is a disease.
  • On the politics news this week, Rahul Gandhi is copying my ideas and walking all over India in villages and tiltilating my fanbase with some random offerings of correct market price on land. I want to give kiss and hugs to all the farmers in UP, and give them a percentage of the collections from my unreleased movie – a joint collaboration with that ponytail guy Arindham – ‘Thok Sako to Thok Lo’
  • I will be flying Emirates Airlines tomorrow to go from Mumbai to Pune for my 17th business – it is all crazy. I feel hungry on the flights but they always make mistake and give me gulab jamuns and bairs in the name of fruits. I’ve asked them to come to my village and understand what are called as fruits. Tomatoes, onions and potatoes are fruits – fly you fools!
  • More next week, till then let me leave you with my favorite quote, which I have created like all great philosophers of our age like Sonia Gandhiji and A R Rahman.
I love all good and patriotic people and I hate all Deshdrohis and bad peoples. – Kalaam R Kahn
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5 Responses

  1. U r amazing bro…. hw can u be so funny…. keep it up.. lookin ahead for more roast on this crappy shit guy…

  2. So funny…aise hi KRK ki bajaate raho.

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