Hairy Potter and the Barber’s Razor


Year 1979: In the Hogwart’s school of pottery somewhere  in downtown Hyderabad, there  sat a young boy busy plucking hair from his chest and storing 1 strand in each pot to create horcruxes so the dark lord wouldn’t be able to wax him. And this is where the saga all began…..

The 8 movie series would be directed by different cinematic maestros starting with Satish Kaushik for ‘Hairy Potter & The Barber’s Razor’ and ending with the dark and deadly ‘Hairy Potter ki Aag’ helmed by RGV. To play the central characters of these sordid tales, here’s our pick from the creme-de-la-creme of Bollywood.

Hairy Potter

Who else but Anil Kapoor to play the pivotal role of the boy whose hair was his mojo, with Rajpal Yadav (Ron) and Dolly Bindra(Hermione) as his sidekicks. Dolly Bindra doesn’t know spells but she does know how to curse for sure…A curse a minute by this podgy Hermione will put even Voldemort to shame.

Lord Voldemort

The dark lord will be given a totally new dimension by the super-dark Rajnikanth…He ofcourse  is naturally gifted as someone who can be killed repeatedly and yet  stay alive! Rajni will also play Nagina and all the 2000 odd lungi-clad deatheaters hovering over the pottery school.

Albus Dumbledore

It was a bit difficult to find a 500 year old man to play the adorable headmaster? We had to finally settle for the ancient AK Hangal whose most important (and also the only) dialogue in the movie would be ‘Itna Sanata kyon hai bhai?’

Weasley Twins

Kader Khan and Shakti Kapoor might not be identical twins but they share the same soul & their screen-scorching chemistry and chaddi jokes are already legendary. 

Hagrid

The great Bappi Lahiri carries the requisite weight to stand tummy,  shoulder and balls beyond the rest of the cast and can ride on dragons, unicorns or any other animal you put his way. He will also provide with song-and-dance routines as well as add some bling to the otherwise  grey movies.

Bellatrix

Wasn’t Bellatrix as a character anyways inspired of our very own Shaban Azmi?

Auditions on for the remaining characters as well as a scriptwriter to write a water-tight plot for this movie.

Accio Matka!

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