Social Network to be remade in Hindi


Rumour mills have it that a few top directors from Bollywood are looking to buy the rights to the 2010 Hollywood hit ‘Social Network’ and remake it in Hindi…

Kabhi Social Kabhi Racial – By Charan Johari

Scene 1

The opening shot is of a helicopter landing in a huge mansion owned by an older version of Mark Zucka’iceberg (played by Big ‘B’accha).  A man wearing an over-sized overcoat gets down from the helicopter and touches the feet of Mark.

“Baujji, main aa gaya”

“Who the hell are you, dude? Select A: Haklu, B:Haklu, C:Haklu, D:Haklu ” – Mark asks in a deep baritone.

“Baaauoooji, u didn’t recognize me baaauooji, I’m your long lost son Facebook” – (Rukhrukh plays the pivotal role of Facebook)

Scene 2

A fat little old nameless lady (played by Jaya) starts running towards the entrance “Mere Karan Arjun aa gaye”

“Cut Cut, Jaya aunty – You’re not Rakhee !!! Please concentrate” – Charan implores…”Sound, Camera….huhuhuhu…Rukhrukh, stop being naughty and go back to your position”

Scene 2 – Take 2

“Sorry Facebook beta, I couldn’t recognize u” – Nameless_Oldy starts sobbing uncontrollably.

“No problem Mummorita, bade bade networks mein aise chhote chhote f*ups hote rehte hai”

“Beta, who’s that podgy girl standing behind u?”

“Please give Aashirwaad maaji, I’m Orkut, your  bahu.” – Orkut (played by Cajole) comes out from behind Facebook’s shadow & touches the feet of Nameless_Oldy

Scene 3

Cut to a song where all of them suddenly start dancing in the living room which has huge piles of Apple Macbooks and iPads around a photo of Mark and his father Steve Naukriyaa.

Facebook starts singing –

Mere Status pe jo aaye,

aake like button dabaaye….

Usse kaho, kabhi photo naa dikhaaye!!!”

Suddenly thousands of people from world-over start entering the mansion led by a young American teenager.

“Arre, who is breaking the discipline of my Gurukul?” – Mark  shouts bringing the entire army of people at a halt.

“These are all my followers and I’m your grandson” – Twitter (played by Shia Labuffet) responds.

“Beta, your wifey is dark and you are wheatish, how come Twitter is so gora?” – Nameless_Oldy whispers.

Facebook raises both his arms – “Don’t be racial maa, be social”

The 1000s of followers start humming “Aaaaaa Aaaaa…Kabhi Social Kabhi Racial”

Cut to the end credits ‘It’s all about loving your… status updates”.

Social Network ki Aag

Directed by the irrepressible Kam Kopal Karma, the movie will have the young Twitter(Viweak Oberoi) leading a gang-war against the current underworld don – LinkedIn (Played by Ajay Godgun)…Facebook (Urmila MotherFaceDo*) keeps dancing in Dollar Baniyan on the beach every 15 minutes post a fight sequence. *Face = Tond in Marathi

Haven’t yet found this detailed script as well Subhash Hurry’s script on the lost twins – let me know if you get hold of it.

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