The Secret Diary of KRK – Returns!


Dear Diary, Jay Mata Di!

 – Today all my kisses are reserved for Annaji and Kiran Bediji. She reminds me so much of that Gujju dhokli ‘Falguni Fatakdi’ with whom I used to play dandia in my struggling days. Aur Anna ke kya kehne – I met Enrique Eagles the other night for bun pav and beer in downtown Mexico and told him that we have a hotter Anna than his Cornykova, but what will these firang 2Rs people understand the importance of old wrinkled hotties!

– My heart is having a round of painness for the janta of this country. How can a population of 135 lakhs of peoples be fooled by a handful of 2Rs people like Om Puri who is giving gaalis to good politicians like Manmohanji. I will crapblock Om Puri, the deshdrohi and also all my 3000 followers who look so identical – twitter is cloning peoples kya? (All eggs without eyes and especially no lips to kiss). But then there are also these beautiful bikini girls who have numbers instead of names and all of them follow me. Twitter, tussi great ho!

– Today KJo is releasing Agneepath trailer – Arre baba, hopefully Hrithik won’t dub with a sore throat like Amit uncle did during the original. And this Sanju baba is looking more like Adnan baba nowadays and with hair gone from the top, his roundness is even more well-defined. On Eid, I have a private screening for Salmanbhai’s new super-duper bumper hit Bodyguard – he wants my advice on the ending of the starting scene…Btw, I really like the way he runs in Matrix-like slow motion for the song ‘Teri Meri’. I just worry that his man-boobs might fall off if he increases his pace just a bit.

– In global news, I’m very happy for the Librans. Their country is finally free, but what’s wrong with these journalists with such bad English. They can’t even spell Myanmar Kadaffi correctly. But it doesn’t matter – a very happy independence to the deshwasiyon of Libra. Now the future is in your own hands – so masturbate correctly. Btw, I love the Americans for giving such beautiful names to their disasters like hurrycane Katrina and Irene…We should take a leaf out of their tree and name our next earthquake as Dolly Bindra.

More next month, till then let me leave you with my favorite philosophical song by Gulzaar Saab, which my very good friend and look-alike Sukhwinder Singh has sunk. Sukhwinder, 100 kisses to you and Gulzar Saab.

“Chal Chaiyya Chaiyya Chal Chaiyya… Saari Ishiq ki Chhau chal Chaiyyan”

I’ll roughly translate it for all my young fans who don’t understand Urdus.

“Cum Chhaya Chhayy Cum Chhaya… All lusty shadows cum Chhaya”

(Chhaya is the name of Shiney Ahuja’s ex-maid now recruited by me for I like to help out the needy peoples)

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10 Responses

  1. Hilarious!!

  2. Pls link me to the julywalla posting . I want to having fun too . This crapshit blocking has spoilt my language typing …

  3. Hahaha… you still need to work on KRK grammar.

  4. ROFL!!!! Too gud… Keep up d good work!! 😀

  5. ROFL!!! Too gud!!! 😀

  6. Out-of-the-Box funny 🙂

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